Returning to my Hometown

It amazing how things can be so crazy even when you don't go outside of your brother's house or neighborhood for days and days at a time. Rose and I are not going to live together. Things just got too fucky. Had I already had housing back in my city, maybe it could have worked [...]

Thumb Twiddling/Knee Bouncing

Well if you've looked at my Instagram feed recently, I have been cat sitting for my friends while they went for a short trip overseas. I've been staying with them for a while now. It has been pretty alright, but I think I am ready to fly out to Charles and fam. Only a little [...]

Have I H​it The Bottom Yet?

The answer is probably no, but one can hope. From January first until right this moment I have dealt with the aftermath of a thankfully not fatal car crash, went inpatient at a mental health hospital in response to a suicidal crisis, broke up with my boyfriend, moved out and began couch surfing, had an [...]

Grasping Smoke

So today I was late for my therapy appointment. So that was great. Then something to do with my transmission busted and fluid leaked all over the ground. Of course I didn't notice that until after my therapy appointment. So there I was thinking great, my stupid car is broken and so is my brain. [...]

Letters To Those I Love

I've got a lot of letters to write. One to Mom, Dad, my boss, and to Kenny. I want to tell them how I really feel and how they've affected me throughout my life. In the case of my boss, I want to say to her exactly what is wrong and why I have to [...]

Hypomania Vol. 1

Oh good old hypomania. Currently what I am experiencing today. Let's go over the symptoms, shall we? Inflated self-esteem or grandiosity: Anxiety is low, and I don't feel like I hate myself today. I feel like I can do anything, or a billion things today. Decreased need for sleep: I woke up at 4am and [...]

Movies and Medication

Yesterday I saw PitchPerfect3, today I saw I, Tonya. First one was straight up silly. Second one was ridiculous and melancholy. Tomorrow has to be straight up serious. I think I will choose Phantom Thread, from director Paul Thomas Anderson. I am in need of an artistic romantic drama. Tonight I do my first titrate [...]

The Bipolar Roller Coaster: Medications and Apps

Good Morning Team Banana Phone! It's another lovely day in the bipolar neighborhood! Today so far (because that changes like every 4-6 hours) I am pretty good. It's Rose's birthday today, so that is exciting even though we are approximately 400 miles away from each other currently. But come April, she'll be moving in with [...]